What it is

First of all, this new little bundle of ours is simply amazing! He's just perfect and has made the most wonderful addition to our family. He sleeps well, eats well and overall has the most pleasant personality.

Our first week & a half at home was great (exhausting as expected but great!), but things took a turn over Mother's Day weekend when I developed a complication that has rendered me completely useless. Two straight days in bed, four days on one antibiotic with worsening symptoms resulting in a repeat trip to my OB today for another two medications. And it'll be another 2 or so days before we know if this regimen is working. Guess only getting 2-hour stretches of sleep at most for over 2 weeks now has contributed to my body running itself into the ground.

In the meantime the only productive thing I can do is pump breast milk for the baby. I can't even nurse him, which for those of you who know me well, know how important this is to me. I am devastated but praying praying praying it's only temporary.

I haven't been able to care for my older two kids. I haven't been able to care for my baby. I pump, then hubs feeds him a bottle, changes his diapers/clothes, puts him to sleep, gets him when he wakes, all while caring for the older two, running errands with all three kids as needed, doing laundry, and making sure everyone has some sort of food to eat 3x/day. Talk about New Mommy of the Year, right? Ugh. I have never been more thankful for hubs.

I feel like a failure because I can't do anything for my family. I can't do anything for my new baby except watch his daddy love on him and care for him.

This is so much harder than I expected and I hate not having any control over the situation. I'm just praying that the infection I'm fighting will respond to the latest antibiotics and I will feel well enough to start nursing my baby and caring for my family oh so very soon.

Thank you for your continued prayers.

- Posted using my beloved iPhone 5