I need help. I need advice. I need suggestions or anything you can come up with.
My heart is hurting. I am grieving. I am at a loss.
My fellow readers and certainly the heart community know that the world lost a beautiful smile coupled with a pair of the brightest eyes ever known to man 10 days ago. Travis Gary DiCarlo. He was Chase's heart buddy. His mom is my heart mom friend. I've never met either of them, but my heart is hurting nonetheless.
Obviously this is a devastating situation. But the hardest part for me is to know my dear heart mom friend is suffering like never before. She's feeling an unimaginable loss that cannot be put into words. And I'm on the other side of the country with no idea how to possibly provide comfort to her. It hurts like crazy that Travis is in heaven, but it also hurts to imagine the pain Nicole is feeling and to be powerless to support her through this tragedy.
Can you help? Help me help Nicole! I just want to be a good friend and I want her to know that her loss is our loss, and we love her and care for her and are lifting her up in prayer.
So besides the obvious (praying like crazy!), can you think of anything I can do to help her?
Please?
You are an amazing friend. The heart community did lose another sweet baby...it breaks my heart. I don't have too many suggestions, but I know that you being there for Nicole and her family means a lot. Call her, text her, send her a note to let her know that you are thinking about her and Travis and her whole family. Send her something special to let her know you are remembering Travis. Remember his birthday, Christmas, and special occasions because they are going to be the hardest for them...although every single day is going to be really hard.
ReplyDeleteI hope this helps and I think you are an amazing friend to want to help from across the country.
I wish I had some good advice, but I don't. Just make sure you call her often and remember those special days, like the comment above says. I know a lot of times parents worry that their child will be forgotten after a little time passes, so make sure you let her know that little Travis will never be forgotten. Sorry, I really can't help. :(
ReplyDeletePraying for Travis' family and for you to be able to do exactly what his family needs.
I read your blog all the time and love it. I have never commented until today. I have been in Nicole's shoes. We lost our heart baby when he was almost 4 months old. She has a lot of support right now but in all reality that support goes away quick once they have the service and people don't understand what to say or do. People who were once your friends leave b/c they are so uncomfortable. It's the same when you have a heart baby and people don't understand how your life has changed and friends & family leave your side...it also happens when you loose a child. Just be there for her, you can't say anything to take the pain away. Just be an ear, and send her notes and something special the next few months down the road b/c people won't be around and it's so great to know someone still is thinking about you & your sweet baby! Hope that helps!
ReplyDeleteMalynda Skiff
Just be there for her...call, write, text, e-mail. Anything you can do to let her know that she and sweet Travis are always on your mind.
ReplyDeleteDon't dissappear. You often write about feeling like your relationships changed when you had Chase. Don't walk away from your friend now, no matter how much fear you may have over your own potential to lose a child. It's our reality has heart parents. Do things to help her feel like she is still a very important part of the heart community, because she is. Allow her to still share her story on your blog during CHD week even though hers may not be the happy ending we all hope for. It is still reality. One of the harder things about losing our son was feeling like the heart community had no desire or need for me or our story anymore. Nicole will always be a heart mom. Make sure she feels that.
ReplyDeleteBe in her with it for the long haul. (The one you wrote about it "heart mamas"....
ReplyDeleteDedra